Well, the night I had been expecting for a while came. I was kinda hoping it wouldn't come for about 6 months, but it did.
My Samsung i500 smartphone fumbled out of my hands and went in an arc about 7 feet to the ground. The battery, of course, fell off of it, but that's happened before. However, this time, it didn't recover, because it doesn't get past the very first loading screen no matter how long I wait. I tried resetting it but it won't do anything.